Tea Drinker Extraordinaire

Never actually done a read more thing, so here goes

Okay so basically I have wanted to be some form of artist all my life. Always- I wanted to be an author/illustrator, then I wanted to be a comic artist, then I wanted to be a graphic designer and then pretty recently I decided that I’d like to work towards becoming a freelance illustrator/designer.

But lately I’ve been thinking about everything and how freaking insignificant we all are compared to everything else. Compare a few billion tiny animals that named themselves humans to the whole wide universe. Okay? We are freaking tiny. 

And there is all of this wildlife on our planet that only a small number of people actually are trying to protect. In the long run, we’re going to have nothing left and regret all of the horrible things we’ve done (that’s if we don’t all suddenly die from a gravitational pull to another galaxy that brings us a little too far away from our sun, or rapidly increased Global Warming, or a huge supernova, or the sun gradually becoming so large that is swallows the Earth up if we somehow survive long enough for that to be our downfall).

So many things just seem so bloody tiny and ridiculous. “Oh, I really want to buy that sweater, it’s so cute”, “I can’t believe what that celebrity did”, etc, etc. I dunno, it’s all kind of just messed up and weird. 

The general state of our earth is messed up and weird. We have morbidly obese people complaining about not having enough chips, while others die of starvation and disease across the ocean. And I’m part of it, in a way. I’m a consumer. I buy factory-made goods. I go to school. I get stressed about tests that are worth 2% of overall marks. I follow fashions. I wonder what will be on telly. I get mad at my computer for freezing sometimes. I complain about all sorts of things.

Hell, I’m prepared to continue doing those kinds of things. And I really love art, like a tonne. But I feel that I should be going out and contributing to something already. I don’t want to be stuck in school. God, I want to learn to my brain’s content because I am a big fan of learning. I want to read hundreds of books about all types of things. I don’t want to be tested and have to do exams, I just want free learning. And then I want to volunteer. 

I have no idea where, but I feel like I should be out somewhere making a difference. I don’t even know, maybe I could get in contact with a charity or something and go and help distribute aid or something. Teach a subject somewhere. Volunteer in garbage clean ups or help and/or study animals. I wish I were intelligent enough to study a science at university and move into some kind of research involving the universe in general.

I don’t know, I ramble a lot sometimes but I feel that this is something I should be doing, and it frustrates the hell out of me that I can’t just go off and do it.

/rant